I have a small tower of books I’ve collected in preparation for My Sex Project. I’ll be honest and say Full Disclosure was not one of them. No, I came across this book from an unlikely source: my grandmom.
Grandmom has always been able to crank out a book faster than I can read a Buzzfeed list. It’s why a friend of my mom’s routinely passes her previously read books to Grandmom. Over the holidays I saw Full Disclosure at the top of her most recent bag of books.
“I think I’ll read this first.” I said quickly grabbing the book, somehow thinking I was saving Grandmom from embarrassment, the grandmom who happily volunteered to be interviewed for my web series Sexually Speaking. I didn’t know much about the Stormy/Trump drama. I knew she fucked our now president. I knew there was hush money. And I knew she was a ::gasp:: porn star. It hit enough check marks to qualify for an MSP read.
I have to admit: I removed the book cover. Not because I was embarrassed or ashamed to be reading the book. It’s just the picture was so god dang cheesy! Stormy is no doubt incredibly gorgeous but this. This was CHEESE. Was she on a picnic blanket? Why are her legs kicked up behind her like she’s Kristy on a Babysitter’s Club book cover? This looked like an ad for Doublemint Gum not a salacious tell-all. I imagined the commercial:
EXT. Park - DAYTIME
It’s a sunny, beautiful day. Stormy rides in on a bike, smiling. Her teeth sparkle. She gets off her bike and parks it by a bench. In her basket, she pulls out a copy of Full Disclosure.
STORMY
Things aren’t always sunny…
MICHAEL COHEN rides by on a skateboard, barely missing Stormy.
STORMY
...especially when you’re Stormy!
Some things I didn’t know about Stormy:
Stormy loves horses
Stormy starred in more than one Judd Apatow movie
Stormy has a daughter
Stormy’s pregnancy was as much of a nightmare as the Trump scandal
Stormy directed music videos
Stormy once had a short run for a seat in the Louisiana senate
Stormy directed and starred in a 3-hour Western porn called Wanted
Stormy is a big fan of Saturday Night Live
This book is exactly what it’s supposed to be. We get a peek into how Stormy became Stormy. We get the scandal. And, obviously, we get her side of the story. Don’t you wish there was a section in bookstores for My Side of the Story books?
Honesty is a recurring theme throughout Full Disclosure. Stormy is well aware she profited from this situation. Her Make America Horny Again stripping tour, which she insists she had no part in naming, certainly made her more money than her usual tours. But this type of work is what she’s always done. Why would more money stop her?
Not only is Stormy smart when it comes to her career, she is undoubtedly confident. It’s this confidence that I think scares people. Makes people dislike her. Makes her an easy target. I loved this quote from Jill Filipovic in her own Washington Post Full Disclosure review:
As I found myself comparing Daniels to Trump, I also became shamefully aware that even the most feminist-minded among us often are viscerally repelled when we witness women who are unvarnished in their normal human self-interest.
Beyond the grounds for potential campaign finance violations, it’s this more profound examination of our subtler biases that Daniels has brought about. Her rags-to-riches story tacks a familiar course, but she got there via sex and brazen power-seeking — things women are not supposed to be quite so blatant about.
Let’s not discount either that Stormy is already a writer. She’s written the scripts for over 70 adult films and, as mentioned above, one of them an epic 3 hours. She’s good at everything she does.
Sure, Full Disclosure probably could have been just fine as a three part series in a magazine or something. But I understand its purpose and decided I will give the book back to Grandmom. She may cringe during the description of Trump’s dick (I know I did) but Stormy’s life is pretty interesting, even before Donald. Her alcoholic mother, her sexual abuse, her pregnancy, her decision to buy a mangy horse - these stories could and should live on her own. I hope Stormy writes more.