Well, here we are. It’s summertime. Warm days, long nights, sticky thighs and sticky fingers from my dripping...ice cream cone.
Summer makes me think of two things: hot sex and cold ice cream. I want both on a constant loop. I want both at the same time. I’m a Little Miss Veruca Salt of boning and soft serve. I want it now!
There are many variations of both sex and ice cream: flavors, positions, toppings, toys. You like it on top? Great. Chocolate/vanilla swirl, you say? Sounds good to me!
It’s no surprise to me that we all have different preferences when it comes to sex (and ice cream). But what has come as a surprise to me is how we choose to define what goes down in the bedroom (Or kitchen counter. You do you). Jimmies and sprinkles may mean the same thing but are messing around and fooling around also the same? I say no!
Here is my very scientific glossary of hook-ups for you to review while waiting for your Mister Softee. Or Carvel. Or Ample Hills. Or Van Leeuwen. Or Big Gay. Or Cold Stone. Or DQ. Or Ben and Jerry’s.
Goofing around - There’s not much action happening during goofing around. Goofing around is the turf that will eventually be played on. But not yet. Right now it’s flirting. Lightly touching someone’s back after a funny joke (that probably wasn’t funny but you’re trying to show interest). Goofing around lays the groundwork for…
Rolling around - Back in the day first base meant kissin’ wit dat tongue. Think of rolling around as a more intense version of first base. But rolling around is not just one kiss. It’s a make-out sesh like none other. It’s all the kisses you wanted to give that person while you were goofing around. Rolling around is a sweet release. But not that kind of release. That release comes with...
Fooling around - Now. We’re. Talking. Or not talking, nah’ mean? Fooling around finally gives us a look at each other’s junk. Questions are answered. Sights are seen. No penetration.
Screwing around - This is a very penetrative-focused hook-up state. Do not ask someone if they want to screw around unless you are 100% sure you are on the same page. There’s no screwing around when it comes to screwing around.
Messing around - Like screwing around except it’s forbidden.
Fuck around - All the perks of screwing around with the added bonus of jokes and play. This is a very sexy but very comfortable hook-up. You can stop, start, tickle, tease. Accidentally fart? No problem. You’re done being superficial at this point. You only fuck around with someone you care about moles, smells, freckles, sounds and all.
Crawl around - Like all of the above but on your knees, you kinky freak.
Fart around - Marriage.
Does my glossary match up with yours? What are your go-to descriptions of hooking up? What ones do you use most? Never? Tell me!!!