Unsure if you’re having really good, satisfying sex? Are you having orgasms or are the orgasms having you?*
After having really good, satisfying sex for a whole three years now, I’ve learned the results of really good, satisfying sex go beyond orgasms. Good sex trickles down from your loins and drips into your everyday life like you never expected. You’ll look in the mirror one day (floor length preferably) and suddenly see the best version of yourself staring back at you. Wave at her/him! This is the new you. Just be warned, if you do this exercise with your sex partner (or dog) still in the room, you will be judged.
If you’re still unsure if you are indeed having really good, satisfying sex, take a look at my list of super, well-researched signs that I have discovered are absolute direct results of having really good, satisfying sex. Are you nodding along? Do any of these seem familiar to you? Well, congratulations! You’re having really good, satisfying sex!
SIGNS YOU MAY BE HAVING REALLY GOOD, SATISFYING SEX
You came a bunch
Your body is constantly exhausted but you haven’t been to the gym in over a month
You cancel your gym membership
You call your parents just to say ‘Hi!’
You almost tell your parents about the really good, satisfying sex you’re having because it’s so good you’re convinced they would be happy for you
You buy a new outfit (You deserve it!)
You post a picture of the New York skyline with the comment ‘#grateful’
You keep bringing up how tired you are to your coworkers hoping they ask what you did last night
You actually whistle while you work
You’re inspired to stop (or start) smoking
You say out loud more than once ‘I should cook more.’
You take the time to write a super positive, detailed Yelp review about your local bodega
You go to Target on a Sunday
You schedule your dental cleaning before they send a reminder
You take the bus
You call that friend who had a baby, gosh, two years ago?
You send that friend an Amazon gift card with a message about ‘staying in touch more’
You return your library books
When you return your library books you breathe in hard and say out loud to yourself ‘I love knowledge!’
You buy a single flower
You buy a new chapstick
What the hell, you buy all your friends new chapsticks
You bring back authentic emojis in your texts :-) :) ;)
You listen to Gershwin
You enjoy Gershwin
You make ‘I Got Rhythm’ your ringtone
You buy ‘Thank You’ notes (just in case!)
You meditate more but really just use that time to think about all the good, satisfying sex you’re having
*I don’t know what that means either