On Sunday I went to bed in the childhood bedroom of my parent’s house. It was quiet. It’s always quiet in the suburbs of New Jersey. But the silence felt that night wasn’t calming. Because right across the river in Philadelphia—and across the river in every city—angry, sad, confused, terrified protestors were screaming, crying, and fighting for the silenced voices of George Floyd, Breonna Taylor, Ahmaud Arbery and countless other Black Lives that Matter.
Silence is alluring and easy and far too often perceived as the ‘right thing to do.’ Silence has been my go to answer to hard topics (race), hard conversations (race) and hard realizations about myself (white privilege).
I’ve convinced myself the topic of race and my white privilege is something to not only skip speaking about, but something to skip learning about. Yet I desperately want people to read my musings on ‘sex, love and life’ as if race and white privilege don’t factor into those topics. They do. They factor into everything. If I continue to be someone who only thinks about race and Black Lives Matter and police brutality and equality when it gets big and loud like across the river, who am I to share my opinion about anything?
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I woke up on Monday to the sounds of the neighbor’s getting their backyard dug up for a pool. I wondered what they’d find. I wondered what was harder—digging up the dirt or hauling it away? I know sooner or later I won’t wake up to the sound of protests or symbolic reminders of my own dirt that needs hauling away. But even though the noise may be temporary, the work is not. There’s a lot to undo, a lot to learn and a lot of uncomfortable conversations to have with myself and others. I’m embracing the voices and knowledge of the black community who have gone far too long being treated as second class citizens in this country and hope we can all find ways to do the same.
There’s so much more but a few items worth reading/watching:
These 9 phrases will help you identify and call out racism
The Combahee River Collective Statement
Race, Gender + American Gynecology
Organizations to donate:
Color of Change
NAACP
Nationwide Bail Fund
Also, highly recommend spending some time on Anguish and Action, as part of the Obama Foundation.