Congratulations Instagram! You are 2020’s Best App for Sexting During a Quarantine!
You’ve beaten out Facebook Messenger, Twitter DMs, WhatsApp even Marco Polo! And while you don’t have the extra added thrill of possibly being found out by HR like you do in a naughty Slack message, you do have everything a horny person needs to communicate through a global, gut-wrenching pandemic (and more)!
At first glance, Instagram seems like every other app out there - you can message, you can send a gif, you can add a photo - all great! But within the basic framework of Instagram messenger lives so many creative sexting possibilities you and your lovers need to start putting to use. Here are my virtual foreplay, fave four:
1. Tease ‘Em
What I love about Instagram messenger is the option to take photos within the app to either disappear after first glance, allow for a single replay, or remain in the chat. Oh, darlings, what fun you can have with that! Keep them on their toes. Will your photo blow up in their face or will they be allowed to keep it and admire it for weeks? Make them work for those permanent photos. Oh, you want to look at this amazing selfie I took using the Hands Free option in the pajamas you love over and over again? Well, what’s in it for me?
2. Auditory Lovers
My sex playlists have become as dusty as my sex life. But with Instagram, the music I’d like to be boning to can be added to the pictures and videos I’m pretending to bone to. Having the option to add music to messages can really set the mood, especially for auditory lovers like myself who can’t get off without the Pitchfork described ‘Plutonian pings’ of Air’s 2004 Talkie Walkie.
3. Boomerang It Baby
You may be used to seeing Boomerangs of glasses cheering drinks, a jump in the middle of the street, a silly dance move at a wedding or bar. But I’ve found the Boomerang really booms when used for sexting. Where are those fingers going? Is that shirt being taken off or on? Omg that line of drool is about to fall right out of his...woop! Nevermind! It went back in!
4. Filter Roleplay
With all the various filters available for selfies, there’s no reason why you can’t keep up with your favorite role playing fantasies in mind (puppy fetishes, anyone?). Does your lover get off on you with long eyelashes? A Mouth Face? Bunny ears? Maybe you’re sexting with a freak who has a very specific Twin Peaks: The Return fetish? Get on with your evil, horny self!